chasin' what only seemed like dreams
by severussnape girl aka sevey
Summary: severus snape, a man once know to be stuck up hard cold hearted. even broken at the seems wants nothing more than to leave this world  knwoing he didn't want let his lost love die in vain.  what he didn't know is there are soemtimes secrets hidden.
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHORS NOTE: This story is going to be a Harry sev, father son type of story honestly I have no idea where I am going with the story.**

**Also no rude feed back. But constructive critsim, is welcome. **

An apology :I am sorry if this is sometimes hard to read and the spelling and grammer suck. I am not the best an di am going to try and make this a good story.

**DISCLAIMER : although I wish "sigh" harry potter is mine it isn't and yes sev, is my best friend. **

_one last thing to note i will try to keep this update but no promises on a regular update because i have no idea where i am going. if you guys kike i might be motivated more but i don't know._

_Well claps hands together my first fan fic. _

A man stood in at the window to the headmasters office. No I wasn't a man I never could be. I failed so many things in my life. Including protecting him. I swore to protect her son and I failed. Staring out at the stars I began to wonder why they had been burning so bight tonight of all nights.

When right out side there raged a war. I war that I was sure we would not Win. Why would we when the boy who lived the chosen one. Harry potter was going to walk to his death. The dark lord would kill him and then surly take over. I stood there in sileince for a moment . taking in the beauty of the stars and all the sudden I realized all the beauty in the world every peace of beauty was suddenly know t me and among them was she.

"lily," I whispered I closed my eyes seeing her green eyes and how they used to sparkle and light up when we were younger. How she used to punch me playfully when I said something sarcastic. Visions of al the good things we did and happened passed through me.

I remembered Christmas fourth year, I was going to stay here instead of going back to the place that was a pathtic excuse for a home. When lily invited me to stay with her. At first i straight out said "no" but then she looked at me pleadingly like a puppy. Her emrald eyes sparkled and I couldn't help but give in.

I felt as the corner of my mouth twitched up and a smile and my heart fluttered as I remembered the snow ball fight and the un wrapping of the small silver pocket watch she gave me. As I opened it there was a picture of both of us arms around each other her bright smile lighting the world.

I hadn't stared at the camera but at her in the picture I looked with great interest at her. Slowly I stuck my hand in my pocket and pulled it out. My hands clutched the watch.

I opened my eyes and opened the watch I stared at the picture of us together. And I felt as my knuckles tightened and my heart throbbed. "I'm sorry, lils, I couldn't keep him safe. I tried but Dumbledor played him and m as pawns in his stuiped game for the greater good. I truly am sorry."

I felt as a sudden urge of anger flooded over me. And I closed the watch clutching it tight in my hand. I turned on my heel and began pacing the floor of the office. "you bitter old man. Why would you play him as a pawn? You told me I needed to protect him for lily, you used me more than once. You played of my affection just like you will do to him. Why? We are all human? We aren't pawns in a game of chess? Why old man why did you play us as such? Did you do it because you didn't want to look bad? Oh, no it would be horrible to let little old Albus look bad. Tell me Dumbledor did you ever care or was everything you did and do part of your game for the "greater good" was the lived you sacrificed willing any impotence to you at all? WAS IT OLD MAN? DID YOU EVER CARE THAT YOU KILLED INNOCCENT PEOPLE ONLY FOR SOME STUIPED LITTLE GAME THAT YOU DREW THIS WAR TO BE? DID IT MATTER THAT BY MAKING ME KILL YOU THAT MY SOUL WOULDN'T BE TORN OR THAT BY PLAYING OF MY LOVE FOR HER FOR LILY THAT I DIED WITH HER? DID IT EVER OCCURE IN YOUR BRILLAINT MIND?"

I stood rooted in front of the picture of Dumbledor my breath raged form my rant.

"Tell me old man, was every life lost just another nesscarity for your little chess game?" I hissed

The man simply stared at me his blue eyes glinting as they did in his life. "now Severus, you know as well as I do that everything that has happened so far is the reason I can a sure we will win. Not only that my boy but isn't love the most important thing in this life"

"no I spat no it's not Albus because if it were she would be alive. They all would you played me you played all of us. And you will continue to. Even after your death. Where not pawns Albus we aren't playing chess his is life not a game and to play with peoples love its not right." I, hissed between my raged breathing I was glaring at the man who wore a simply calm stare and a mad twinkle in his eye.

" Now Severus, I did not make you do anything. Yes I persuaded you but what you have done has been done out of you own will. I asked you to tell the boy this information because it is vital information he must die Severus, there is no other way if there were I assure you I would have tried for it. As for others deaths they were not in my control. And as for lily, my boy I could not have stopped her from stepping front of tom to protect her son. That was her choice, love has no bounders. "

" I still see no need for his death. It only makes her sacrifce in vain. All of this was for nothing. " i breathed still glaring a scowl on my face. "Well, Severus I could talk all night about why love is the most driven of all emotions but, you have to go find the boy and tell him of his fate. Go my boy finish what you started other wise everything you have done will be in vain. " at the he moved out of the photo and was gone.

Silentely I cursed him under my breathe. picking up my wand and stuffing the watch in my robes pocket I headed to the door. I was greeted by a silver mist that spoke "the dark lord wishes to see you Severus." And with that I opened the door and looking back one more time. At the office I had occupied a lot over the last few years. And as I closed the door I closed the rest of the world behind me with only one thought in mind "I love you lily."


	2. Chapter 2

**_Author Notes : _****_so this is a fan fic of sev, and harry, it's nto going to be canon. It will not be male on male but more of a father son relationship. I hope that I can get good fee back and stuff on it. I no the first chapter is really short. But I did it for a reason the chapters will veary I have no idea quit where I am going with the story yet. Please if you have any suggestions feel free to add. _**

**_DISCLAMER "I OWN NOTHING. ALL CHARACTORS BELONG TO /K ROWLING. "_**

**_Sevey._**

Chapter 2

_Sev's point of view_

As I stood in the black corridor. Rubble around it was way to quiet and I only had a few moments to find potter. I knew that without a doubt the dark lord wanted to kill me. Taking a deep breath I stepped forward. "Expecto patrounma," I whispered lightly so quiet almost I myself didn't here it.

Out of my wand burst a light that formed a doe. Lily's doe, I felt as a tear escaped my eye he had to know. I could not let my life go to waste let both myself and lily die in vain, not if I could help it. _lils I am sorry I failed you. And I can't help but wonder if you would have known that he would die anyway would you have stood in front of him? I wihs I wish I could have saved you both. To give both of you the life you should have had. Potter didn't half to die not this young not your son. _

The tears trickled down silently but fast. And once more I sent the light of my life out to find the boy in which has been both my hatred and love for the past 7 years. I watched silently as she moved away leaving me in an empty darkness.

_Harry's point of view _

Standing in the 7th floor corridor I stood staring at the place in which I had just saved Draco's life. The very person I hated for the last 7 years of my life and still I feel empty .

everyone thought being the boy who lived is such an amazing thing. But its not, when you kill people you love. I shut my eyes tight my mind filling with all the people who has died for me. Dumbleldor. Moody, dad, mom I took in a sharp breath remembering she was never there that I had done this all on my own.

But, most of all sirus , and I felt as the lump in my throat grew bigger and the tears slipping from my shut eye lids. No don't think of that. Think of all the people who are still here. Still by you.

I felt the air shift around me as ron and Hermione came closer. The two people who despite everything they stood by me through everything. I felt a tiny smile trace my lips, but it was just I tiny hint and it was gone before I knew it.

My thoughts shifted to severus to the man who at one point was supposed to be on my side, and besides the fact Dumbledor was a brilliant man he put his faith in the wrong man. Snape was a cowered to be exact. i hated him I could not believe that even a man as snarky and devilish as snape would betray Dumbledor but I had watched I had seen it. And besides his obivouse attempt to bring me to voldemort early tonight something deep inside me. Something deep deep down whispered that severus was still on our side that he was Dumbledors man through and through.

That he was not a coward. But the bigger meaner tougher part argues and it wins the battle between wishful thinking and truth. And at that I felt as something small brushed up against me. Opening me eyes I looked down to see the doe from the forest her green eyes staring up at me I looked over to ron and Hermione who where hugging each other.

"guys I'll b back alright. Just stay here." Both of them turning to look at me . their faces full of anguish and fear. It was Hermione who spoke first" we are going with you Harry."

"no Hermione I have a feeling that I am supposed to follow her alone like I did last time to find the sword." Ron stepped forwards " but mate were in this together. We are your back up just in case."

I stepped forward so I was face to face with ron "no this is something I half to do alone I will meet you guys back here in an hour and if I am not back the then you come looking for me. Got it. " "But, Harry…. You can't just go off…" Hermione began to protest but my raged boiled to the surface.

"NO HERMIONE YOU AN RON WILL STAY HERE AND WAIT. THIS IS ONE THIGN I MUST DO BY MYSELF. The doe is not going to lead me to danger. I know it will help us. I just half to do this l alone okay! I know you guys care, but you see guys….. please just hearr… me out okay.. I half t go in alone… " I stood for a moment and then pivoted on my heel and began to stride down the corridor following the doe.

_sev's point of view_

Potter must not be far. I heard him scream a moment ago although the words were unclear he was near. I took in a deep breath and looked for a place to hide so the boy wouldn't automatically run once he figured out who the doe belonged to.

Scanning the dark I found a piece of wall that had was small hollow and I climbed in it. I knew it would be a good place its far enough out a view and it over shadowed by fallen bricks and other stuff.

I began to slowly count and beg for the boy to hurry up I needed him to know before I went to my death. Before I sent him to his death and he sent me to mine.

I stiffened as I heard foot steps become clearer and louder. They continued to echo loud until the abruptly stopped and I seen the doe standing there the boy petting it thoughtlessly and as he whispered words of comfort to it. As if it was nothing more then a real scared animal.

He cooed at it. As his fingers drifted though it I heard him ask it to whom it belonged the doe looked in my direction and so did the boy. But, the shadow of the hallow hole kept me hidden well.

The boy turned back to the doe. And I quietly casted a silent silencing charm on myself so I could move undetected as I climbed out of the hole. Stepping out I carefully watched a very step I made to make sure I would not step on anything that would make it known I was there. And for what seemed like a breathless hour I finally made it behind the boy.

He was still cooing to the doe. His words every so light as he spilt the ash of his thoughts upon the doe. But it was then that for the first time I had become stunned as the boy infront of me cooed.

"you know … lightly guy. I might as well as say there's a part of me that wants to find severus. Yet he made angry and upset that there's just something about the snarky grumpy mad of the dungeons that says he is more than what he seems. Especially after everything Dumbledor turned out to be. I guess, I mean I am still angry with him, but I don't know there's just a small part of me that says he's not really the traitor I thought he was. Something.. about the way he seemed to always be on guard well…ah,, this is nonsense he killed Dumbledor and here I am talking to you nothing more than just a light shaped as an animal. Defending the man whom I watched kill the very person who trusted him.."

Caught off guard I did not notice the boy as he stood up. Did the boy really think that I was not really what I tried so hard to show I was. Damn Gryiffindors always trying to find the good in everyone. But, I smiled a tiny bit , as a small piece of lily shown through for a moment. I coughed as I regathered my composer

"I excpect Potter for the first time your right about something. But, still as thick headed as ever" I sneered at the boy who had whirled around at the sound of another presences his and in his hand pointed straight at my face.

His green eyes full of anger and relief . mixed with so much emotion. "I see you have met my patrounse ." I watched as his mouth opened in an open 0 and his eyes filled with disbelief. As lily's doe came to stand beside me. And a satisfied smile crossed my lips but only a brief moment and then the boy was supputering "wha…t ….rssss.. "


End file.
